creepyolderguy.com Blog

I spent a number of years in radio and it was a wild, wild ride. Started out on air as a wacky personality and gradually moved up to sales and management.

Towards the end of my radio days before I went back for a second hitch in the ad agency biz I had a particularly twisted convention in Dallas. It may have been NAB and it may have been RAB…I now forget but it was cosmically dysfunctional.

I was managing a cluster of radio stations in a university town and that in and of itself will be a springboard for future memorable posts. My wife was living in a town an hour away and I had a 3-year period of behaving like I was back in college myself. I now hang my head in semi-shame but at the time….

Back to Big D….the owner of the company brought all the managers from the chain to the convention. We got tickets a couple of rows off the court at a Mavericks-Heat game. Pat Riley has the coolest damned suits. I want more Armani in my wardrobe..

One of the managers was a colleague from my Navy days in American Forces Radio and TV…Yes during the Vietnam War we were the American Forces Radio Network instead of Armed Forces…perhaps so it would seem less likely we’d lay waste to your home or village. If you’ve been in the service you know that you take a master’s class in how to party that puts frat boys to shame so my friend and I guided our group in how to take after hours action way over the top.
Needless to say we didn’t hit much of the convention. We hit the Heat-Mavericks game the first night and the second night turned mondo ugly…in a brilliantly hot way. We started at Bob’s Chop House, which serves the best steaks in the country except for maybe that Japanese steak house in the Bellagio in Vegas. Then the owner of our broadcast chain, who was an ol’ SMU more-money-than-Croesus type, took us on a tour of his favorite strip clubs…I adore strippers. They’re like guys..they love to curse, party, take illicit substances and when they get naked it’s more fun than hanging with the dudes.

I had pre-arranged for not one but two hookers when I got back to the hotel…I had hoped to see Alea, a high-end courtesan who still works in Dallas, but there was some kind of scheduling conflict. I still think of her and sigh.

Anyway, eventually back at the hotel,hammered and headed down to the ATM machine to gather my cash for the soon to arrive young lovelies. It was 20 minutes ahead of time so I knew I’d have time since hookers, strippers, actors and musicians are always late and have some of the most amazingly creative and funny excuses.

As I got off the elevator, two fresh-faced lasses got on who I assumed were fellow convention attendees. We smiled at one another and as I trudged my addict’s walk of shame and giddiness to the ATM I wished my two hookers would look as good as those two.

Money scored and back to my floor and OMG, they were my gals of choice! They were newbies, friends, nervous, high and semi-drunk. Needless to say it was one of the sweetest and sexiest encounters I’ve ever had. I spent awhile putting them at ease as they had just started doing this a week or so before. When they finally got their freak on, they did things to one another and to me that a more seasoned pro would’ve gone…first…show me the “extra” money. They were adorable and I think I orgasmed out my ass I came so hard.

The funeral. The morning show host of our alternative station had to bury his father the next day there in Dallas. I woke up, sated, badly hungover but got in my rental and headed to a funeral home in north Dallas. He basically hosted the portion of the service where friends and family came up and shared. It was beautiful, sad and it spoke to me, mired in my addictive ways, that I needed to lean more towards the light and the heart in my own life.

Progress brothers and sisters, progress.

Excuse me all to hell but I’d been admiring her acting chops all these years. Brilliant comedic touch and the empress of a throwaway line.

And in the current “Weeds” I’m watching, she starts wearing less. Tossing off her undies and hiking her legs over the shoulders of Matthew Modine who continues to have scarily good hair, by the way. Some other scantily clad moment and I’m thrown down from communing with her artiste to artiste. I’m now crawling about in lust, still loving how she can do magic with her delivery but now aware of that other aspect…ahh….

Ego note: I’ve been cast in a small independent Western to be shot up in Colorado next summer. I’ve worked with these guys before and I’m usually a weasel-type but this time, I get to be bad…really bad. I relish it and dream of Miss Mary…

Okay, Mike Louis gets the credit also. I had obsessed about Melissa in a much earlier post when she was modeling. Harmless and sweet. And then she announced she had retired. I accepted it, moved on to groveling before Isobel Wren and all seemed right in the world of long-distance erotica.

Then tonight I return home from the opening night of our state arts council convention down here in the Great American Southwest. Hot trisexual artistic types, a couple of galleries, wine, conversation and burgeoning lust. Back to a computer, browsing my blog and I ran across my earlier tip of the quivering member to Melissa and I thought, what the heck, I’ll Google…and she’s back and out of retirement. The minx!

“Hampton Glamour” I think is the studio and Mike Louis the photographer. A glorious photo of Melissa and the lyrics of John Lennon’s immortal song scrolling along her delicious naked flesh. I must buy one. It’s sexy, moving and just a great, powerful image, along with John lurking within the piece.

How many Beatles were there? Four, if you count John Lennon four times. Peace to us all my brothers and sisters and welcome back Melissa.

I love my headlines. However, I have an ego the size of West Texas and just can’t help myself.

Stacy, my much beloved Domme-in-a-thong, was back in circulation and we gathered for an evening in a town that has been the scene of some of my most delicious debauchery and cavorting in years past. Just entering the city limits and thinking of the various carnal episodes always makes me smile.

We began at a funky little wine bar. She arrived looking fresh-faced, sweet and unbelievably enticing. She’s a committed leftie, so we dueled over politics for quite some time as we dissected the upcoming election. Her passion for issues and green-leaning perspective makes her all the more hot. Great mind and a body to match: I was re-smitten.

The we decamped to a strip club where she used to work. We indulged in both getting lap dances from an array of charming to delightfully nasty young ladies until Stacy settled on a lean and lovely African-American lass. She even went to their “gift shop” and bought a strap-on to use on her and also, moi. She arranged for the lady in question to join us later in the evening.

Let me see, I was tied to the chair back in our boutique hotel, virtually all orifices were  thoroughly probed and the little progressive/Red/liberal of my dreams even spent the night. She looks wonderful in the morning light, no small accomplishment. And it was her birthday weekend.

I am officially intoxicated with her memory.

The above is fictional and I’m merely a sex addict, working my recovery, loving my wife and charging on to the next 24 hours. Peace to us all my brothers and sisters.

How thrilling to be in my 50s and still battling a variety of addictive impulses. I’m building a prose cottage here in Facetiousville so bare with me.

When I successfully got off the Peruvian marching powder in the late 80s, that involved  divorcing myself from everyone in the lifestyle. It worked.

Even though my sex addiction is sapping less of me than it has in decades I’m at a particular virulent stage of wanting to act out. As I write this, I’m prepared to drive my gas-guzzling SUV through virtually any nearby wall to get at one of my lovelies.

And unlike leaving behind the whole world of Columbian breakfast flakes, I’ve got my partners all quite nearby and the lines are open. Kelly, my white trash stripper turned waitress has been texting me throughout the morning concerning the various types of assaults she would like to conduct on my privates and man cave. Stacy, my Domme-in-a-thong, has broken up with her boyfriend and wants to meet so I can help her with this fall’s “Stacy Wants to Be Naughty Scholarship Fund” as I so charmingly termed it. And my new pre-Reubensesque lady that I recently chronicled is available for cbt and exquisite tease and denial.

Wisely, I’m using online porn and the occasional dalliance with phone sex to keep the expensive shit at bay. (remember…author still residing in Facetiousville)

Sex addiction is exhausting and it takes so much of your emotional capital. I’m tired my friends. I’m tired.

Peace to us all, but most of all to me this September morning. I try to always work in a grin for you good folks…just not happening today.

I’ve been such a good boy. So enthralled with the joy of recovery and the white knuckling thrashing about that it brings, I had to get nasty, kinky and do that thing that brings the guilty smile to my features.

My priapus puss leavings have left me with musings about GFE, coming to the verge of breaking down that bdsm levee of denial and no sex but today, boys and girls, it’s all about an old semi-flame training and then setting me loose with her new girlfriend. Life when it gets twisted, is good in the Llano Estacado.

Three glasses of Chardonnay at a fine restaurant and I was on the prod recently. Substances fuel my sexual addiction with a fierce, wild abandon that Robert Downey Jr. would recognize and smile at.

At my strip club of choice I encountered my Amazonian biker chick who I’ve been fond of for nearly a decade. I have chronicled her in this humble off and on online rant in past entries. She has gotten off the hard stuff and looked the best she’d looked in years. She waved me over and we chatted like long lost fucked up souls who had peered intently into the abyss and took a couple of steps back at differing times. We agreed had we pursued our little bdsm mating dance when both of our addictions were raging, it would have all ended badly.

I came to realize that the cutest (and probably the youngest) stripper in the place was her girlfriend. The stripper had flirted with me. Wait, that’s what they do for a living! Anyway, the salesman in me was intrigued. I started floating out the possibility of a threesome and my trusty biker chick ex-stripper trundled back and forth to her girlfriend and put the deal together. Her luscious little lady was typically the submissive and tended to roll in the direction of my adored biker chick.
When I talked to her girlfriend later in the evening it turns out she had heard all about me and my various “kinks of choice” and she was intrigued.

Two days later it was an afternoon of carnal craziness. The little lass is hot, a natural, a tease and left me immediately wanting more. She’s pre-Reubensesque but there was a youthful fleshiness that just made it a sick, twisted, cuddly freakfest.

Of course this is all from my fevered imagination, I love my wife and I’m back into the recovery that I yearn for so deeply. Peace to us all.

Okay, the whacking swords part sounds like code for forced-bi, doesn’t it? Well it’s not. This truly is about the joy of picking up a big ol’ metal blade and teeing off on someone. Safely, I might add.

When not wrestling sexual demons, I belong to a merry troupe that tackles Shakespeare on a yearly basis and this time we’re drawing steel for “Richard III”. We have two pitched battles and I have a great fight in each. The choreography has to be precise since even though the blades are dull they’re big heavy metal swords and you could easily break a bone if you misjudge and your opponent is expecting the blade to be coming from another locale.

I owe this reverie to Claire Adams, bondage rigger/director and performer of the highest caliber and one of the sexiest women on the planet. I happened upon her blog and it’s quite delightful with links to many of her libido stirring endeavors. Then I hit an entry of hers comprised of Albert Camus quotes. As a philosophy major until my dear mother said try something a little bit more practical, I am drawn to the field still. French Existentialism and a hot bdsm diva all in one. Ahh….

It just reminds me of the importance of the mind in these games sexual we play. And the fascinating minds at work out there in the field. Ms. Adams, my Billie Holiday of phone artistry: Angela St. Lawrence, Tatum Reed’s cultural musings, Mistress Coraline’s wacky bon mots, brilliant Rita Seagrave, Lady Velvet, Mistress Matisse and so many more. When they wander off topic it makes for some marvelous flights of fancy.
And I was recently added to the plethora of blogs at Love Boudoir, what looks to be a French based collection of blogs le sexual! Out of context I know, I just had to pat my blog on its little brain pan.
Back to the original thrust of all this (remember we’re dealing with swords). The brain needs to be unleashed frequently and it can’t always be wrapped up in the fetishes of the flesh. It needs to stretch. For me, the poetic lines of Willy the Shake and swinging a broadsword and for Claire Adams it’s the lonely knight of our singular path in this world, brother Camus.

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In two words…actually, yes.

Tiny or small dick bashing has been a staple of the bdsm scene for years and particularly in the arena of phone erotica. That’s not my issue. But, the one that does loom (or perhaps I should say doesn’t) is, as one gets older, paucity of priapic power. Limp dickness.

Now we have our pills we can pop. And I must say they work and I shall add that they leave you feeling odd enough that I’m sure my widow will get a big settlement when we find out in a few years that these phallus engorgement dream drugs make you grow an ovary that then explodes resulting in assuming room temperature. But that’s all for the class action lawsuit.

From the onset of this issue I have been intensely aroused psychologically by the myriad feelings it (or lack of itness) has aroused.

Perhaps the live action apotheosis of EDH (see the title of the post dear kinksters) is to be using your flaccid member to hump the back end of a huge black dildo inserted into my little stripper turned waitress, Kelly, while Kelly verbally degrades you. It’s kind of a white trash rant but it’s still pretty hot.

The aural equivalent is more dangerous. Phone tauntologist Domina Stern. Imagine your therapist chatting amiably with you as she thoroughly gets to know both you and your darkest fears. Then she takes that knowledge and unleashes it on you in a charming, teasing and emotionally brutal manner. The lovely lass had been kind enough to read my blog and had been very gracious in her assessment. However, when it came time for “play time”, she cut deeply. And it was very arousing and deeply troubling. I think I want her to make me cry.

I usually can keep all of this a step beyond “me”. Compartmentalized twisted crazy shit, then back to the con and hustle. Domina Stern, who lurks on Nite Flirt, may be the one to open me up and take me to a deeper level of ?

Of course, all of this is fictional and I am a guy who loves his wife and truly wants his recovery to progress. I write this for my pleasure and perhaps a helping hand to one of you.

A greatest hit from the vaults of my lifetime of winning weirdness.

When in the midst of a campaign for the state legislature down this way, it probably wasn’t the best idea to put together a party with two coked out hookers, two fat cat drunk oilies and…..wait for it….a member of the media. But that’s how we roll in the Llano Estacado if it seems like a good idea at the time.

The ladies in question and I had partied about a week before and as a lover of dysfunctional women of all stripes I needed to share with my friends. The two oil field dudes were donors to my campaign and long time golfing and drinking buddies and the media guy was just a freak who was always fun to have around. He was like the guys who covered FDR back in the day….I could’ve been in my wheelchair snorting coke off one of the hooker’s asses and he would’ve just let it go uncovered…as long as he could participate.

One of the hookers was a delicious, thin little brunette who I believe said she had a little Choctaw in her, just like me and…she had a small hump on one of her shoulders. First time she got naked and I saw it I prepared to fixate on it. Fixate I did…and it seemed to enhance her appeal. I didn’t get where that came from and still don’t but she was sexy.

We had the ladies, the substances and booze and it was about a month before the general election. As the ladies were changing we all agreed that this was a stupid thing to be doing and then cackled like frat boys on ’shrooms.

The ladies came out and we drank and did a few other things and eventually they dived down on one another. The media guy muttered a heartfelt thanks to Jesus, removed his glasses and leapt into the mix, licking and suckling for all he was worth. We all participated with gusto and we rolled out of there not too long before the West Texas sun started up out of the plains. I never saw my little Richard III/Igor lady again but I’ve always reconsidered what makes for beauty ever since and have a much broader canvas to work with in my libido. Bless those kinky lasses, my donors, the pervy media guy and all of you too. Peace to us all, my brothers and sisters.

Hello fellow travelers and also to the occasional pervert and freak. (I mean that with love…we are a unique little tribe) Road trip over the weekend and my schedule changed up at the last minute  and I didn’t have the chance to see the Kiwi goddess, Princess Aphrodite. Also failed to hook up with a delightful punk nerd sweetie who is retiring from stripping and many of her self-destructive ways. We’ve never really had a play party of bdsm sick shit together, but I suspect we’d have a certain chemistry.

I’m at a relatively low ebb of needing to act out. Usually I would have had something lip-smackingly twisted to share after this past weekend but the high point was fondling a few knives and examining some marinades at Williams-Sonoma. Sorry to disappoint but it feels pretty good in here. Peace to us all my brothers and sisters.