A greatest hit from the vaults of my lifetime of winning weirdness.
When in the midst of a campaign for the state legislature down this way, it probably wasn’t the best idea to put together a party with two coked out hookers, two fat cat drunk oilies and…..wait for it….a member of the media. But that’s how we roll in the Llano Estacado if it seems like a good idea at the time.
The ladies in question and I had partied about a week before and as a lover of dysfunctional women of all stripes I needed to share with my friends. The two oil field dudes were donors to my campaign and long time golfing and drinking buddies and the media guy was just a freak who was always fun to have around. He was like the guys who covered FDR back in the day….I could’ve been in my wheelchair snorting coke off one of the hooker’s asses and he would’ve just let it go uncovered…as long as he could participate.
One of the hookers was a delicious, thin little brunette who I believe said she had a little Choctaw in her, just like me and…she had a small hump on one of her shoulders. First time she got naked and I saw it I prepared to fixate on it. Fixate I did…and it seemed to enhance her appeal. I didn’t get where that came from and still don’t but she was sexy.
We had the ladies, the substances and booze and it was about a month before the general election. As the ladies were changing we all agreed that this was a stupid thing to be doing and then cackled like frat boys on ’shrooms.
The ladies came out and we drank and did a few other things and eventually they dived down on one another. The media guy muttered a heartfelt thanks to Jesus, removed his glasses and leapt into the mix, licking and suckling for all he was worth. We all participated with gusto and we rolled out of there not too long before the West Texas sun started up out of the plains. I never saw my little Richard III/Igor lady again but I’ve always reconsidered what makes for beauty ever since and have a much broader canvas to work with in my libido. Bless those kinky lasses, my donors, the pervy media guy and all of you too. Peace to us all, my brothers and sisters.
